You can live richly, and money
has nothing to do with it.
Written by Rachel Marusak, AUCP
Fall 2002 student,
published in 50 Truths Worth Knowing,
Rodal Books.
Forty sketches were due at the end of the week.
As I put my things together, I
lingered over my sketchbook.
The cover was bright blue and
spiral-bound; the pages were thick,
blank, and full of possibility.
It
was midterms at the American University
Center of Provence, where I was studying
abroad for my junior year in college.
In lieu of classes, we had a day
to study. Outside my host family’s home, I pulled the gate closed and
felt especially relaxed as I set out on
my usual route to school.
Every day, I passed the same
fruit and vegetable vendor, where I
would sometimes stop in for a tomato or
an apple and practice my grocery
vocabulary.
I passed the same café with the
floor-to-ceiling windows where I would
see the same old men sidled up to the
bar with their little espressos and
morning cigarettes.
With
the 40 sketches in the back of my mind,
I noticed a wrought-iron gate that gave
entrance through a cement wall
I had always taken for granted on
the other side of the street.
Feeling like I had some stolen
time, I wandered across the street.
The gate was unlocked and led to
stairs that immediately descended into
an artfully designed courtyard.
Sidewalks divided the park into
equal parts and joined to form a circle
around the fountain in the center.
The park was part of an art
museum, which looked like it was just
closing for the lunch hour.
I set up shop on a bench facing
the fountain.
As the sun warmed my face, I took
off my jacket and remembered reading in
a travel book that you should always
dress in layers during the fall in the
south of France.
I took my sketchbook out of my
bag and assessed potential subjects.
One child raced giddily around
the fountain, another dangled her hand
to test the water, and a couple was
picnicking in a sunny corner.
Opening
my book to a fresh page, I faced the
fountain and started to outline the
curves of the structure.
I heard my painting teacher’s
reminder in my head, “Forget the
intellect.”
She repeated the phrase so often
it was more of a mantra.
They were Cezanne’s words,
meaning : don’t think about drawing
something.
Be open to your impression of the
moment.
Birds
brought movement to my page.
I made lines until they took form,
would flip without resignation to a new
start, and shift position to a new
composition.
Deep lines.
Splashing water.
Fountains.
Children.
Birds.
I remember looking up and feeling
my good fortune and taking note. I
wasn’t in it for the grads.
I didn’t need to be anywhere.
I didn’t want for anything.
I was just living – calmly,
graciously.
I
had wanted so badly to extend my stay in
Aix-en-Provence, but there was no way.
By the last week of the semester,
I was literally living on soup and bread,
and I traveled home without a dime.
But I took that day, that moment
in the park, with me.
That moment – of wanting
nothing – is my most cherished
possession.